While a divorce is meant to be the permanent removal of a mate from future activities, when children are involved there is usually a circumstance such as a school conference where both divorced parents must interact. Managing to get through a school conference with your ex-spouse can be trying at best, especially if the marriage ended with a distinct taste of animosity in the mouths of both participants. Often in these types of dissolutions, one or both of the parents may view the school conference as an opportunity to flex their muscles to "get even" for past transgressions, usually at the expense of the child involved. Managing a school conference with your ex can be simplified and success enabled by following a few basic tips directed toward approaching the meeting with the proper attitude.
To start, both divorced parents should leave the past in the past and realize that the school conference is not about them - it is about helping their child to achieve academic goals, period. Peripheral issues have no place in the school conference, and focus should be directed toward assessing the information and recommendations presented to formulate a corrective plan of action if required. The well-being of the child should always remain at the forefront of considerations, and the school administrator's input should be recognized as the valuable tool that it is - presented in a non-partial and objective manner. Questions that are asked by each parent should pertain to the subject at hand and not be used to unnecessarily agitate an ex-spouse.
In most school conferences options are given to parents to make remedial steps to improve a child's academic performance, followed by an open discussion between the concerned parties to implement changes in study habits and curriculum. If there is a history of disharmony between divorced parents, it is best not to attempt to reach a conclusive decision on the spot as it may lead to a heated disagreement. In these instances it is wise to inform the school administrator that you will telephone them with your decision in a day or two after discussing the subject at length and in private.
When communicating your thoughts to your ex-spouse concerning the issue, keep in mind that while you may not agree certain decisions are necessary, and the circumstance you find yourselves in requires negotiation in good faith. While individual opinions on the school conference may be miles apart, realize that your ex-spouse loves your child as much as you do, and is certainly entitled to have their wishes afforded the appropriate respect in resolving academic discrepancies.