What Do Men Want For Valentine's Day???

I gave my Grandfather "Old Spice - Soap-On-A-Roap" for every occasion for about 25 years. One day, I went to get the phone book out of the hall closet at my Grandparents house and was overwhelmed by the smell of Old Spice. . . every one I had ever given him was in that closet!

I said, "Grandpa, I thought you loved Old Spice Soap-On-A-Rope!???!!!"

"Nope," he replied, "Whatever gave you that idea?"

"Well, you were always so happy and grateful to receive it."

"That doesn't mean I liked it."

LOL

I was shocked. I told him to give them away. (Turns out my DAD loved them!)

The next Christmas, I was so proud of myself. I gifted my Grandfather with a collection of toothpastes flavored with Scotch, Bourbon, Whiskey, etc. from Neiman Marcus. I was so impressed with my own cleverness. . .until Gramps opened the gift and said, "what the hell?"

"They're toothpastes that taste like booze," I beamed.

Gramps said, "Yeah, but I keep my teeth in a jar!"

"What????"

"Dentures. I wear dentures."

"Haven't you ever seen Grandpa's teeth in the bathroom??" my Grandmother asked.

"Yeah." Pause, pause, pause.

"But you still gotta brush 'em. . . right?" I asked, clinging to the last little shard of hope.

My Grandfather slowly shook his head, no. Another useless gift from me.

I finally hit pay dirt when I gave him a pen and pencil set engraved with his name. He was so touched. He used that pen with great pride and I believe it was one of his most treasured possessions.

My Grandmother passed it back to me when he died.

Of course, my Dad would've rather had the pen & pencil set than all those Soap-On-A-Ropes, too!

Maybe the moral is: Give him a pen set engraved with his name? LOL