by Stefanie Plum, Gather Partner Team
Member since:
February 19, 2008

Join Our “Take the Pledge Discussions” & Win A Gas Card!

October 11, 2010 10:53 AM UTC (Updated: October 21, 2010 04:46 PM UTC)
views: 0 | 7 people recommend this | comments: 58

Each week Gather will be having a “Take the Pledge” Discussion where members can share their experiences talking to elders about their driving.

This week’s topic is:

What tips can you share that helped you talk to a relative or friend about “Taking the Pledge?”

Leave your comments in the comment field below by Friday, October 15th. Two lucky members will be randomly selected to receive a $10 gas card.

To learn more about the challenges facing senior drivers check out Liberty Mutual’s Senior Driving Site - www.libertymutual.com/seniordriving.

 



One entry per person who comments below. No purchase necessary. See official rules


 

Comments: 58

colleen m. Oct 11, 2010, 11:00am UTC
Just talk to them in a compassionate way - the same way you would want to be treated in their shoes.
☃ Shannon K. Wendt Oct 11, 2010, 11:22am UTC
I would share the Gather articles with the people it pertains to.
Beth J. Oct 11, 2010, 11:25am UTC
I talk to people in a way that I would be treated and that none should be treated unfairly. I help people who can't afford stuff and try to treat them the same way I want to be treated.
Kelly K ~God is Good All the Time ~ Oct 11, 2010, 11:30am UTC
What tips can you share that helped you talk to a relative or friend about “Taking the Pledge?”
I will show them the wonderful articles here on Gather.
And talking to them compassionately and respectful.
Denise W. Oct 11, 2010, 11:40am UTC
Talk calmly and respectfuly but also listen. Sometimes others understand and except what you are saying if you not only talk to them but also listen to them.
.* Sandi * Oct 11, 2010, 11:49am UTC
Listen first then talk and explain, Good advice for anything too
d d. Oct 11, 2010, 11:51am UTC
The tip that I would share is about safety and in moderation. Safety is important to the driver as well as the other people driving or walking. In moderation deals with the fact that if you do not have the reflexes that you once had, the driving should be kept to an as needed basis and that they should look towards others to help them out. Go with a friend or family that can drive.
Tami G. Oct 11, 2010, 12:03pm UTC
Older people are needy & I mean this is the most positive & loving way. They need to be needed, they feel that have to contribute something, and they need to have a purpose in life. From the beginning, they needed their parents, friends, spouse and kids; they need to always give by cooking, baking, taking care of & making sure life is good for them etc. They needed to be there for their grandchildren & sometimes-great grandchildren. Then one day they are no longer needed. This is usually after an illness, hospitalization, or an accident when we realize they really can no longer continue to do the things they have always done. They now feel that they are needy but it is something we do not mind doing for them. However, due to the way they were raised they still need to be needed. This is where pretend comes into play. If you pretend, you need their car they are so thankful that they can loan you their car they are happy. After a while, they will soon be saying that they do not see why you need to give the car back soon or buy yourself a new one because they have found a way to do without the car. This still puts them in the giving seat, they are not made to feel as if they have nothing left to give & it keeps families happy for those Golden years. Just need them & let them feel needed instead of feeling needy. (For some people there is a difference between need & wants. Remember taking advantage is for your benefit not theirs, Please make sure you know the difference!)
Ruthi C. Oct 27, 2010, 5:12pm UTC
Tami, you deserve to win for this compassionate response!
Janet "Jax" B. Oct 11, 2010, 2:26pm UTC
Be honest and don't beat around the bush.
DiAnA D. Oct 11, 2010, 2:43pm UTC
What tips can you share that helped you talk to a relative or friend about “Taking the Pledge?

It is imperative we all take a pledge to drive safely for if not how do we police each other?
Teresa T. Oct 11, 2010, 3:55pm UTC
Talk with them like we would like to be talked to. Talk about pledging to drive safely and safety in driving in general.
♠~Dnbuster~♠ ~. Oct 11, 2010, 4:08pm UTC
What tips can you share that helped you talk to a relative or friend about “Taking the Pledge?”listen and be compassionate to them. Ya need to understand that they have been driving for a long time and its thier freedom.
Mary G. Oct 11, 2010, 4:22pm UTC
Be honest and inform them your concerned with their safety and other people on the road.
Jin L. Oct 11, 2010, 5:46pm UTC
Create a good atmosphere and disuse the pro's and cons with them comely.
Elizabeth V. Oct 11, 2010, 6:04pm UTC
Talking to people about it will solve nothing unless that talk includes practical solutions for them. If you are truly concerned about an older friend's or relative's driving, then you will give them an alternative that will really work for them. For example, offer to drive them and/or have your teenage kids drive them. (As I recall, teenagers love an excuse to drive their parents' cars.) Or you can also look into whether their city/county offers to drive seniors around and then share the information with them.
Sassy *bacon makes me happy* Cat Oct 11, 2010, 11:15pm UTC
Have patience listening to their thoughts on the subject
Gather Rocks Oct 11, 2010, 11:31pm UTC
What tips can you share that helped you talk to a relative or friend about “Taking the Pledge?”talk to them with respect and concern for thier safety.
April H. Oct 12, 2010, 3:57am UTC
What tips can you share that helped you talk to a relative or friend about “Taking the Pledge?” HAve the support of the whole family behind you then do it in the most compassionate way possible like saying 'hang up' the keys instead of 'taking' the keys.
Bridget Jean Oct 12, 2010, 12:07pm UTC
You have to talk to them with the utmost respect! My parents have been driving longer than I've been alive, so it's important to take their feelings, concerns and doubts seriously!
Kim K. Oct 12, 2010, 12:24pm UTC
You have to be respectful and nice but firm!

Give them facts and tell them how serious the situation is and not only their lives but others are at stake!!

Offer to drive them to appointments or to visit friends or to buy groceries! Tell them that spending this time with them is very important to you!
Bing Y. Oct 13, 2010, 7:05pm UTC
Talk to them with sincerity and passion. Driving safety is to the benefit of all of us.
Tory H. Oct 13, 2010, 8:13pm UTC
Sharing articles, talking with concern and honesty, and trying not to sound condescending!
John S. Oct 14, 2010, 9:57am UTC
Speak respectfully but speak the truth. Seniors know their limitations and are not stupid. They want to be independent but not dead. Don't simply present a problem present a solution.
Julie Dearing Oct 15, 2010, 2:25pm UTC
Be honest and straight forward.
Linda J. Oct 15, 2010, 10:09pm UTC
Suggest other means of transportation, such as, golf carts, bicycles and walking.
Cass .. Oct 15, 2010, 11:23pm UTC
I think by talking it out and offering other suggestions for transportation is a good way to handle it. You have to remember that it is also a form of freedom for many people and taking that away is a major thing. Have heart & remember we will all be there someday! =)
Stefanie Plum, Gather Partner Team Oct 18, 2010, 10:05am UTC
Congrats to the two (2) winners:
Diana D
Bridget Jean
Angie S. Oct 24, 2010, 11:04am UTC
First of all I would let go and let God. I would pray to God for Him to give me the words to say to a broken heart. My heart was once broken and I know God healed it. And I know He has given me a passion like you would not believe to share His message to others who are hurting.
Kim K. Oct 27, 2010, 4:44pm UTC
Just give them the facts to help them make a sound decision. Then pray that they make the right decision!!
Madeline L. Oct 27, 2010, 5:08pm UTC
Try to make them understand that it is in their best interest and safety that you are even suggesting they stop driving. I know it may be difficult, but you will feel better knowing you did this!
Amber C. Oct 27, 2010, 6:13pm UTC
Just try to make them see that you are coming to them in love and concern. And don't speak to them as if you are chastising them.
Sandy M. Oct 27, 2010, 6:32pm UTC
try to talk to them and explain that you care alot for them and you are concerned and also offer other ways for them to get around that will make it easy for them to stop driving.
Shannon W Oct 27, 2010, 6:39pm UTC
Ease into the conversation. You don't want to say "Hey, your driving sucks!" because that will make them angry. Ease into it by saying "I'd like to talk to you about your driving... there have been some cases where I've been very concerned about how you are driving now and I don't want anything to happen to you."
Chavonne H. Oct 27, 2010, 7:05pm UTC
Talking about the person's driving while they are driving to show them exactly what you mean and that what you're saying is true.
regina guthrey Oct 27, 2010, 8:03pm UTC
Talk to them and make sure they understand.
April H. Oct 27, 2010, 8:32pm UTC
What tips can you share that helped you talk to a relative or friend about “Taking the Pledge?” Stay positive and have alternative solutions on hand to talk about.
Pam S. Oct 27, 2010, 8:54pm UTC
Be understanding, but get to the point quickly.
What tips can you share that helped you talk to a relative or friend about “Taking the Pledge? Have them to repeat what was shared so that clear understanding can be made.
Tami G. Oct 30, 2010, 5:14pm UTC
Hello Henry I have not seen you in quite awhile. I am here on & off because of my back problems. Good to see you again.
Christina L. Oct 27, 2010, 9:16pm UTC
Talk to them in a polite, kind manner and make sure that they know you are bringing it up because you are concerned for their safety.
J G Oct 28, 2010, 1:51am UTC
To be a good example.
Trish A. Oct 28, 2010, 7:21am UTC
What tips can you share that helped you talk to a relative or friend about “Taking the Pledge?”

I think it's important to try to speak in a way you would like to be spoken to.
Jenn P. Oct 28, 2010, 7:42am UTC
talk calmly about it and be understanding
sally g. Oct 28, 2010, 9:04am UTC
Sitting down and talking calmly to them. If they have questions we answer them the best we know how or show them.
norene t. Oct 28, 2010, 1:23pm UTC
I dont have anyone to do this with.I wish I did,
RedBird. B. Oct 29, 2010, 10:30am UTC
Talk to them, straight forward and then be sure and ask them, Do You Have any Questions?
Take the Time to Listen.
Debbie W. Oct 29, 2010, 3:40pm UTC
Oh, you have to be very respectful and kind when you talk to anyone about giving up driving!
Cynthia T. Oct 29, 2010, 5:35pm UTC
Tell them your concerned and be kind and respectful towards them.
Amanda P. Oct 29, 2010, 6:02pm UTC
My tip would be to talk to them about recent events and what is in the best interest of safety.
Victor C. Oct 31, 2010, 8:53am UTC
Plan ahead as to what you'll say.be respectful.
norene t. Oct 31, 2010, 5:53pm UTC
Thank you Liberty Mutual and Gather ! This is a breath of fresh air!
norene t. Oct 31, 2010, 6:13pm UTC
Ask them if they have seen recent events happening and get their take on them, Could they have been avoided?
Renee (Pres of Baby James Foundation) ~. Oct 31, 2010, 8:02pm UTC
Its best for them as well as others safety
Kim K. Nov 1, 2010, 1:01pm UTC
Have them read the local paper and watch the news and see how accidents can happen!

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