What’s in a Name? That which we call “renewable license” still spells Divorce

A friend posted a link on Facebook to a blog that poses the question, “Should Marriage Licenses be Renewable?” (HuffPost Wedding March 18, 2012 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/stephanie-sarkis-phd/should-marriage-licenses-_b_1224208.html?ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false)   The idea being that every two to five years a couple decides if they wish to remain married. They simply renew the license if their decision is to stay hitched, or don’t renew if they decide to go their separate ways. The blogger goes on to neatly list the potential benefits of a so called renewable marriage license, including a pre-license agreement of joint custody should children be a product of the union and the revenue states could generate from license fees.  Pitfalls follow just as neatly that include being charged a late fee if you forget to renew and getting used to hearing “till our renewable license expires” rather than “till death do us part” at marriage ceremonies.  

 After reading this blog I ask myself, “Was this written by a Disney executive?, because it’s clearly a frickin’ fairytale.  You can call it whatever you want, a renewable license still spells divorce. Not renewing still results in dissolution of a marriage, rendering the union no longer legal and relieving the involved parties of any further responsibility or duties of marriage. It’s a Divorce, folks.  

In a perfect world the simplicity of a renewable marriage license might work, but then in a perfect world we wouldn’t need divorce. The other biggie missing from this formula is “human emotion”.  Divorce isn’t difficult because of legalities; it’s difficult due to emotion.  It hurts! People do crazy stuff, and marriage/divorce is a leading motivator of perfectly sane individuals morphing into a scene from Alien vs. Predator.  So how is a renewable marriage license going to help society other than making it easier on paper to split from your spouse? It will not elevate us from the same consequences brought forth by divorce.    

 It’s a very distracting world that we live in today. Technology has rendered us a virtual 24/7 society, no off button in sight. Ipads, Ipods, Iphones…that’s a whole lot of I’s holding our attention. Marriage is very much a we institution and it just may be that it’s becoming harder to focus on a singular task, like marriage. So it may make sense why some people would want to limit marriage to a specified time frame. We are losing our ability to focus which is directly connected to our desire for commitment.  

It seems that renewable marriage licenses will just be another element of today’s “throw away” attitude, and ill-mannered scoffing toward commitment.  Maybe we can institute 14 day (gosh, is that too long?) licenses for those like the Kardashians and participates of the Bachelor. It’s not hard to see how the idea of no long term commitment seeps its way into our society. Renewable marriage licenses seem like they would just add to the instability of society, by placing an expiration date on family.   

Marriage is not a license; it’s a state of mind and heart. A renewable marriage license is just a divorce every insert years here .  It doesn’t matter what you call it, it matters what it is.  © 2012 Kiki Dahlke